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Miraculous Dissolving Cures

by Randy Kaplan

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1.
Crushed Berries 03:33
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"Crushed Berries" by Randy Kaplan We were both in the mood to be x-rated But the problem was that we both wanted to be dominated My sisters call me by their husbands' names I spent another hour yesterday with the bow tie you gave me Let's spend an afternoon where our own names escape us Far away from this dirty world We both admitted we were in love But the problem was that we both needed to be taken care of I'm young I want to be old fashioned When I'm old I'll want to be modern Instead of drowning out tomorrow We should address these problems Plastic bags in the winter trees and the highway shadow of an eagle Flying above this dirty world We both wanted to play around a little But the problem was that we both started to play Two ends against the middle Sometimes I’ll save a fly from a spider's web Sometimes I’ll say, “Let him die. He’s better off dead” My father promised me some orange Trident But they're both gone from this world From this dirty world I always got a lot in December The last thing he said to me was- I don't remember Why couldn't he do the right thing? Pleasure is secondary Why can't I find a spoon that won't crush my berries? I see her walking in the night with just one eye open And one foot out of this dirty world This dirty world
2.
The Girl Who's Done It All 03:06
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"The Girl Who's Done It All (Go to Sleep)" by Randy Kaplan A different man sleeps in her bed every week But all they do is go to sleep I'm keeping track I carve my trees with her initials I'd sacrifice her to my volcano But on nature she's turned her back She used to answer it when it called Her car won't start and her money's finished Her new best friend is named Glen Livit Sometimes she lets him steer I feel her melting into me Like an ice cube in a cup of tea Soon she'll disappear like a comet in the sun What do you do for a girl who's come undone? She draws and crosses her own line When she's gone I'm gonna pine away For the crumbs that she dropped on the floor Late that night, just before our only fight Once it started I couldn't stop She kept me thinking I could win What do you do to the girl who's done you in? Answer it when it calls What do you do with a girl who's done it all?
3.
Wingfoot 03:57
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"Wingfoot" by Randy Kaplan She's a long drink of water Nine feet tall, well at least five nine She can read her lovers' minds Before you know it you've lost her She guessed my sign but she didn't guess it right I'm the same as the man she left behind She gave him up to go live in the woods Next time you take me back it's for good Wingfoot High T's Watermill Blues There's always more innocence left to lose I'm the road from Belize to Peru I can behave, behave myself I can attendez ici pour elle You can try to get her before she goes You can settle for something else But I won't give up this soon There's always more innocence left to lose You don't know what they'll take from you Along the road from Belize to Peru Now she's gone, gone for good Now she's done, it's the end A Sagittarian's nightmare She's gonna bear another man's son Wingfoot High T's Watermill Blues There's always more innocence left to lose You don't know what they'll take from you Along the road from Belize Wingfoot High T's Watermill Blues There's always more innocence left in you Don't give up it's much too soon We're on the road from Belize to Peru
4.
In the Way of Sin 04:31
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"In the Way of Sin" by Randy Kaplan My thoughts run away like you did from me How many others have you touched since you were mine? I'm blue and I'm yellow, I'm green and I see red And it's an ugly and an awful design What's awful, I know, is this painting of you In front of the bridge on our way through New Hampshire I changed your sweatshirt to a dress, you're holding it closed In the photograph you smile, in the painting you don't What have you done in the way of sin? Who's come knocking and who have you let in? I sing myself to sleep at night I, lovesick, come in unannounced Weighing your answers on a broken scale Drawing harmony, harmony from flowers I wake up thinking, Something bad's gone on And now it's set in stone but whatever was was I hope and pray you're still alive and well Then I worry because it won't always be thus G-d forbid, I bite my tongue I take it back a million times What have I done in the way of sin? I'm not your comforter and surely you're not mine I'm sorry for the letter, I'm sorry for what I said I don't always feel that way but sometimes I do I have moving parts, I try to win your heart I love you and I want to show you When I tell you things like this you smile to yourself You tell me that your distance is the reason for my lust You play the bigger person, you offer consolation Like, “Don't worry it won't always be thus” G-d forbid, bite your tongue Take me back a thousandth time What have we done in the way of sin? I'm not your comforter and surely you're not mine I’m not your comforter and surely you’re not mine
5.
Jane's Just Fine 03:44
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"Jane's Just Fine" by Randy Kaplan Something is surfacing It brings me light, it makes me light I watch my whisky undress the ice Undress the ice I've done things wrong but I will make them right I'll make them right I'll come back slowly if you want me to Want me to I'll love you only I'll give my name to you, my name to you We'll make it holy We'll make it through, make it through the night Everything is naked and I'm feeling brave I'm feeling brave We'll make a list and we can pick a name, any name We'll call our daughter Esther or maybe Jane Maybe Jane's just fine I'll come back slowly when I'm feeling brave I'm feeling brave I'll love you only We can pick a name, any name We'll make it holy or maybe Jane Maybe Jane's just fine
6.
Volunteers 04:01
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"Volunteers" by Randy Kaplan The last time I cried Was when one of the stars in The Big Dipper disappeared It was that bright one there in the handle I wanted to disappear to when even the poor people wore suits It wasn't their choice, though, it was just foisted upon them Depression-age gentlemen on through Sinatra Not a great actor when he wasn't singing I'm sorry And it's hard to look tough buying ice cream for yourself I'm still surprised whenever I see Professional athletes younger than me Sometimes a finger, sometimes a wrist Could kill a career like theirs or like this Would you still love me if I lost my fingers And I couldn't hold you and touch you the way that you like me to? I think I'll unravel, dissolve into nothing Just my pure and blank soul, no thoughts and no feelings What would you do? Like this I'll test your love for me You were upset when you saw yourself on that videotape You said, "No wonder I've had all this trouble. Look how odd I am" Just keep punching, eventually you'll knock someone out I follow this grandfatherly advice My father is dead and it's still strange to say that out loud Last night I had that dream again Where Job's wife is lying next to me and I'm reading her a psalm She spits at my Bible, she spits at me, "What a book to base your life on Who cares about speaking out of a whirlwind? How about saying something that makes sense to everyone?" I say, "Where were you when G-d made the world? Forgive Him and thank Him for what you lost it's time to move on" She says, "How can I forgive and forget? My children were killed because of some bet, some stupid bet It was petty and proud--" Here there's thunderous clouds And she screams and she cries and she fades into mist As she wails out loud, "He's my killer, He's my murderer, He's your G-d"
7.
Cutty Reel 06:08
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"Cutty Reel" by Randy Kaplan I went walking where you walk every day Where the men on the steps know your name I was thinking, Her shoes touch this street She smells this smell, there's the view that she sees I still had your keys so I let myself in I was looking for a place to begin I loosened your faucet, I slept in your bed I was dreaming you'd come home and love me again I stayed up for days, I lay on a box When I was dirty enough I drew near I stood on your corner, I took off my watch When I saw you coming I held out my hand I dreamed you'd take the hand I held out I dreamed you'd say it's the soul that counts But you gave me a dollar and a pitying look You gave me a dollar but there was something you took I turned off my phone, I had nothing to say I didn't touch myself for a week and a day I turned into someone else, it didn't take much I had that aura that comes from restraint I offer you a warm place to sleep I offer you a chance to think twice I offer you your turn at the wheel As it turns out I can sleep on my right side I tried to buy a voodoo doll of you A popular item, they were sold out I had to make do With some rubber masks and some tile grout I sold you a stamp, just your name with red ink I was the makeup man who painted your lips pink I lay at your feet as the plumber for your sink I was the waitress who served you your drinks He ordered Chivas Regal on the rocks I gave him Cutty Sark, a watered down shot I charged him for Macallan, 18 years old I had a center once but it wouldn't hold I went walking where you walk everyday Where the men on the steps know your name I was thinking, Her shoes touch this street She smells this smell, there's the view that she sees I still had your keys so I let myself in I looked through your things just to see where you'd been I drank from your faucet, I slept in your bed I was dreaming you'd come home and love me again I was dreaming you'd come home and love me again
8.
Certainly Della 05:05
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"Certainly Della" by Randy Kaplan Della, I'll love you better next time We'll find your nightgown in Texas Della, I'll leave you alone if you want to Look at fences and take self-portraits Della, I have a picture of you That I drew while you were sleeping I was scared of the earth lying under the sky That's why I whispered about constellations changing But I'm not scared anymore I can say some things for certain I'll never drop my bow No, I know I could be something Della, these words ride on my breath But your name leads me to battle And, Della, I'm not so easily led But time is easy to travel I remember a desperate night How we kissed an hour in your doorway And how I longed for you Even as you stood before me Della, I'm broken. My old dream is gone I'm still here. It's almost evening I look out my window first thing in the morning The only dream I want to be in is yours I'll bring you more than a rose It's a long walk down the aisle Della, you deserve You deserve to be lifted by angels The thirty second scream The cruelty of numbers Don't tell me anything Let's pretend this year never happened And, Della, I'll love you better this time We'll find your nightgown in Texas Della I'll leave you alone if you want to Look at fences and take self-portraits You deserve to be lifted by angels
9.
Alaska 03:47
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"Alaska" by Randy Kaplan Oh, Letti Misquoting Casablanca when you moved to Alaska Left me such an opening Oh, Letti Go find your precious medals then meet me in the middle Fly from your corner At its most extreme it's a battle of nerves The night moves out first Then just like before it comes back for more Oh, Letti Remember my advances How you took full advantage I never had the time to turn back Oh, Letti May no night come to haunt you May no night even want to anymore You hold the center in this battle of nerves The night moves out first Then comes back for more just like before Sometimes I'm lost in the middle Sometimes I'm lost in the end Oh, Letti. I'm ready to try again Battle of nerves The night moves out first Then just like before It comes back for more Battle of nerves
10.
Unpaid Bills 05:41
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"Unpaid Bills" by Randy Kaplan We were in the midst of a cold streak You felt you weren't there The parts of you you didn't use You left in boxes under the basement stairs When I came home I used to kiss you hello Just to see if someone was on your breath I tried to provoke you once and with your eyes you said We'll never be close enough to fight You used to have a rooftop garden filled with illegal plants They seem like good old days to you now But there were awful nights when you made drastic plans And when you started taking her upstairs Once you saw marks on her body When you took off her shirt But you didn't say a word Next time she was just a wisp Ten pounds lighter than before Then she was a flicker Then she was nothing And you couldn't use her anymore Now you're staring at the unpaid bill You're a body in a chair I never wavered in my loyalty to you I always thought my vision had a prayer It's not the end of the world The world already ended And the snow is melting on the back lawn Let me leave you with this Things left on the floor get wet in a flood And you can't use them anymore You can't use them anymore You can't use me anymore

about

MIRACULOUS DISSOLVING CURES (2001) is a musically rich collection of threnodies and noiresque tales that find Kaplan battling the forces of love and loss as well as the hypocrisy of both the secular and religious worlds. In "Crushed Berries" the narrator laments that his "friends will save a fly from a spiderweb but then they'll order rack of lamb or baby back ribs." In "Volunteers" the ghost of Job's wife rails against G-d for letting her children die "because of some bet, some stupid bet." "Cutty Reel" is the dreamscape of a jilted degenerate; in an attempt to win back his beloved, he tries to buy a voodoo doll of her but finds that they're "all sold out."

Stylistically, the record ranges from the quasi-Latin beat of "Crushed Berries" to the hint of electronica in "The Girl Who's Done It All" to the irresistible mix of synthesizer and Spanish guitar throughout "Unpaid Bills." There's also a full-color 12-page CD booklet featuring abstract paintings (by Yasmina Palumbo, Leila Hamilton, Masha Solomon, Lucille Dreyblatt, and others) juxtaposed to the words for each song. MDC was recorded by Colin Mahoney in Lawrence, Kansas. The record also features Brian Schey on bass and Bradford Hoopes on keyboards.

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REVIEWS of Miraculous Dissolving Cures:

On "Miraculous Dissolving Cures," transcontinental singer-songwriter Randy Kaplan sounds like he can hold the line against most folk-pop comers. He compiles a collection of stories that incorporates elements of longing and loss, and from the get-go of "Crushed Berries"- with the line "My friends will save a fly from a spider's web/But then they'll order rack of lamb or baby back ribs"- there's also a serving of irony. Kaplan, who's obviously well-read, conjures the Big Dipper, Sinatra and Job's wife on "Volunteers," a seeming non sequitur fest. But somehow, everything on the album fits together.
—Kevin Amorim / NEWSDAY, New York

"Kaplan's creativity sends out sparks. One can only hope that if he eventually cheers up, that won't dilute the intensity of his songwriting."
—DAILY HAMPSHIRE GAZETTE / Northampton, Massachusetts

"Randy Kaplan is a cheeky songwriter with enough personality to stand out from the dulling crowd of singer-songwriters."
—TIME OUT NEW YORK

credits

released May 20, 2001

Randy Kaplan MIRACULOUS DISSOLVING CURES

Produced by Randy Kaplan, Colin Mahoney, & Brian Schey
with the invaluable assistance of
Our Man in California, Scott Bernstein

Recorded, Mixed, & Mastered by Colin Mahoney
at z'gwon,th studios in Lawrence, Kansas
from the last week of regular season football games 2000
until the first week of regular season baseball games 2001
except parts of 2 & 4 recorded just after the 2000 all-star break
piano on 2 from Breathing Basement GO TO SLEEP
at no point during the making of this record were computers not used

Randy Kaplan - Voice, Acoustic, Electric, & Nylon-string Guitars, Harmonica, Rhodes, Lowrey Organ, Chord Organ, Hammond Organ, Juno Synthesizer
Brian Schey - Bass, Fretless Bass, Acoustic, & Electric Guitars, Lowrey & Conn Organs, Juno Synthesizer, Drum Programming, Glockenspiel
Colin Mahoney - Drums, Percussion
Bradford Hoopes - Hammond Organ, Wurlitzer, Juno Synthesizer
Tom Johnson - Lowrey Organ
Lisa Miller - Vacuum

MIRACULOUS DISSOLVING CURES p2001 by Randy Kaplan
All Songs ©2001 by Randall L. Kaplan
Published by Treeleigh Music (ASCAP)

special thanks to Honey Schey & Honey Sharpe
for help with the harmonies

Thank You: Mom, Meetaw, Scott, Leila, Brian, Colin, Lisa, Jenny, Bradford, Tom, Brad * Rachel & Suzy at z'gwon,th studios, Arnold Dreyblatt, Erik Hyman, Robin Blackwood, Byron Thames, Sherri Solinger, David Friedman, Karin & Jillian, Vashka & Tybalt, my family & my friends

Back Cover Photograph & Collage & YT icon by Judi Kaplan
Doll Drawing by Randy
Art Design by Tom Johnson & Randy
Graphics by Tom

Paintings/Details:
Yasmina Palumbo – Front Cover, Crushed Berries, Wingfoot, Alaska, Unpaid Bills
Lucille Dreyblatt – The Girl Who's Done It All
Leila Hamilton – In the Way of Sin, Jane's Just Fine, Volunteers
Judith Kaplan – Cutty Reel
Masha Solomon – Certainly Della
Howard Biegel – Credits on Back Cover

For My Father

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Randy Kaplan Detroit, Michigan

ADULTS: Nashville Blues & Roots Alliance calls Randy “a master of old-time, Delta-influenced guitar,” and the Smoky Mountain Blues Society says he’s “an absolute ace guitarist, picker, and ragtime player.”

KIDS: Randy's blend of American Roots Music and Comedic Storytelling has inspired the likes of NPR and PEOPLE magazine to name Randy one of the nation’s top family entertainers. ... more

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