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Jam on Rye

by Randy Kaplan

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Life Underwater Music
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1.
Burpity Burp Burp Burp 03:16
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"Burpity Burp Burp Burp" by Randy Kaplan and Julie May Burp burp burp burp burp. Burpity burp burp burp. I’ve got to hear a burp burp burp Now that you have slurp slurp slurped. Oh, the night is dark and deep With promises to keep. I promised I would get some burps Before I go back to sleep. Oh, milky milky moo. Oh, milky milky May. Milky milky milky milk A dozen times a day. Oh, burpin’ is my skill. Burpin' is my art. I’ve got to hear a burp burp burp But all I hear’s a— I think you're gonna burp. You're face is turning red. As soon's I hear you burp burp burp We can go back to bed. Oh, gruntity grunt grunt grunt. Does that mean you think you're done? Oh, come on now. A little burpin' Never harmed no one. I put you o’er my shoulder. I put you o’er my knee. Please please please just burp burp burp And don’t spit up on me. Oh no! Thar she blows! It’s coming out his nose. It’s all over his clothes. He’s covered head to toes. Oh, thar he goes. The spitup, how it flows. Projectile? I suppose. Is this normal? No one knows. You glug glug glug glug glugged. You drained it to the dregs. You’ve got to burp now. What is that? Something smells like eggs. I take you o'er my knee. I take you o'er my shoulder. I pat and rub your back back back. Now you're an hour older. It's freezing in your room. I'm turning up the heat. Your mom is sleeping like a log, As if a log could sleep. You're running me around. You're playing me for a fool. I've got to hear a burp burp burp But all I see is drool. Oh, burping is my job. Burping is my art. I've got to hear a burp burp burp But all’s I smell’s a— This song is pretty crude. This song is pretty crass. Well, what did you expect, my friends? I wrote it about gas. I thought you were all done. I thought there was no more. Now I see you want to share Your milk with chair and floor. Oh, no! Thar she blows! It’s coming out his nose. It’s all over his clothes. He’s covered head to toes. Oh, thar he goes. The spitup, how it flows. Projectile? I suppose. Is this normal? No one knows. Oh, burp burp burp burp burp. Burpity burp burp burp. I’ve got to hear a burp burp burp Now that you have slurp slurp slurped.
2.
Jam on Rye 03:52
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"Jam on Rye" by Randy Kaplan —When I go out to eat in a restaurant and I look at the menu and I see written in all capital letters at the bottom: NO SUBSTITUTIONS PLEASE... well, I think, That's one inflexible chef back there in the kitchen. You see, I like to substitute certain ingredients for certain other ingredients. Yup, I'm a first class ingredient substitutionist. But I'm not an anarchic substitutionist. I mean, I don't sub out just any ingredient. The ingredient I pick to replace the original one has to RHYME with it. You see... I don't like ham. (he don't like ham). But I like jam (but he like jam). I don't like rice (he don't like rice). But I like ice (but he like ice). And that's why I eat jam on rye With my mixed up greens and my ice and beans. —Yeah, jam is where it's at, man. Fruit butter, curd, spread, or preserves! And, yes, I insist that my greens are always as mixed up as I am. —Impossible! —Do you really prefer jams and jellies to hams and pork bellies, Randy? —I do. Absolutely. —Why? —Why?! 'Cause jam is good ('cause jam is good) In its jellyhood (in its jellyhood). Gimme jelly please (give him jelly please). Gimme jam and cheese (give him jam and cheese). Yes, marmalade or preserves I'd trade For the ham I've bade farewell to, babe. So just to clarify, I do hereby Insist you try some jam on rye. —A little Green Eggs and Hamish there, I know. Well, this is a haimish song. Anyway, Dr. Seuss wouldn't mind. —You mean Seuss. —No, Seuss. That's how his name is really pronounced. He just gave up enforcing it after a while, and went with the crowd. —Get back to the food, Randy. —Okay... If you don't like chips (if you don't like chips) Then switch to pips (then switch to pips). Pips are pits or seeds (they're pits or seeds). Put 'em in your feed (put 'em in your feed). So go ahead and try some fish and pips Instead of chips for your salty lips. Yeah, no one needs permission slips To swallow seeds of persimmon pits. —Ogden Nash might not have liked persimmons. He said as much in a poem. But I sure do. I also love chips, as you know. But if you don't appreciate that salty-paper-cuts-on-your-lips feeling then, as I said, Go ahead and substitute some sweet pips instead. Hey, guys. Speaking of substitutions, instead of the next verse, let's jam! —Here we go! I don't like ham (he don't like ham). But I love jam (but he love jam). I don't like rice (he don't like rice). But I like ice (but he like ice). And that's why I eat jam on rye With my mixed up greens and my ice and beans. Let us versify: Viva jam on rye! Yeah, I'm a kooky guy and that's why I eat jam instead of ham!
3.
Hockey Puck 01:26
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"Hockey Puck" by Randy Kaplan Baseball, basketball, football, soccer ball, Handball, racquetball, cricket ball, kick ball Bowling ball, billiard ball, bocce ball, volleyball, Golf ball, tennis ball...hockey puck?! Wiffle ball, newcomb ball, dodge ball, squash ball, Paddleball, ping-pong ball, polo ball, paint ball, Jai alai ball, rugby ball, shot put ball, tether ball, Lacrosse ball, softball...hockey puck?! —Who do you think you are, Don Rickles? The hockey puck ain't round, it ain't rolling on the ground It goes sliding on the ice in a sport of sacrifice There are teeth to be knocked out, there are things to scream and shout 5 on 3, 4 on 4, there are many ways to score Slap shot, snap shot, wrist shot, one timer!!! —Zamboni! —Zamboni! —Hockey Puck! —Hoppy Cook! The blades are really sharp, there are Islanders and Sharks There are Bruins, there are Kings, there are Blues and Red Wings There are Maple Leafs and Ducks, other teams, you're out of luck I'm running out of time, out of room, out of my mind! Grabner drags his toe as he skates across the blue line, Taking the feed from Tavares, who wears the same number as the great Butch Goring incidentally. Fleury out of the crease! Grabner skates into the trapezoid and... Wraparound... Score! Hat Trick! Beach ball, skee ball, t-ball, Wii ball, Stick ball, power ball, croquet ball, cork ball, Pall Mall ball, wall ball, pinball, pachinko ball, Foos ball, fuzz ball...hockey puck?! —Hockey Puck?
4.
Virginia, Vega, and I 02:59
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"Virginia, Vega, and I" by Randy Kaplan (whistling) Virginia, Vega, and I play beneath the Kansas sky Down by the river and swamp. Step, step, step. Stomp, stomp, stomp. Virginia, Vega, and I. Hey, hey, hey. My, oh, my. Vega says, Watch me skip. It looks more like she’s about to trip. Virginia, Vega, and I are going home to eat stir fry I can hear those dinner bells ring Through the air where humidity’s king Virginia, Vega, and I are wishing Sadie didn’t have to fly All the way to Tennessee. I wish she were here with V, V, and me. Now Sadie, she flew home. Over land, not sea or foam. And she's right here with us. So we can play and raise a fuss. Sadie, Vega, and I laugh at Virginia chasing a fly The swing set is the thing. We see how high Vegacita can swing. Virginia, Vega, and I go down to the river nigh The lazy river crawls. And Sadie does some great bird calls. Virginia, Vega, and I think a robin's flying by But when we look to see, It's Sadie whistling at V, V, and me. (whistling)
5.
Ode to a Shower Door 05:29
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"Ode to a Shower Door" by Randy Kaplan When I was just a tiny lad I hardly ever laughed. I knew not what a shower was. I was forced to take a bath. I threw a fit, a tantrum, and I argued every time, “I want to keep this sticky coat of dirt and germs and grime. I like my gunk and grime!” As I grew I gained some rights like standing while I bathed. The water fell like sprinkles from a cloud. I was amazed. But something was annoying me, of what I wasn't certain. But after much reflection and thought I decided it was that curtain, that mildewed vinyl shower curtain. I hated when I left it in. It would cling to my left thigh. I think the steam and the warm wet air were the reasons why. But I hated when I left it out, the bathroom became a pool. And when I came down to the kitchen for dinner It wasn't very cool. No, it wasn't very cool. The ceiling would be leaking and my dad would just shake his head. “He’ll have to go back to taking baths,” is what the old man said. So I begged and pleaded, “Please, please, Ma. Do something. Find a cure.” So in a great display of compassion and love she bought a shower door. She installed a shower door! And I said, “Oh, oh, the shower door. It's like I never bathed before. When it rains it pours and pours. I want to shower more and more.” Oh oh oh ode to the shower door. I bathed in peace. I'd sing my songs as my body filled with suds. And off my face and down the drain flowed dirt and grime and mud. And the door was solid see-through glass so it didn’t cling to my knee. He-he. And me brother could ever tip-toe in to sneak up on poor me. Through the glass him I would see. But one day I was filled with aches and I could not go to school My mom made me an Epsom salt-filled bath. I sang, “Don’t Be Cruel.” Everybody knows that with that solid shower door Built into the bathtub there’s no elbow room no more. You can’t rest your elbow on a shower door! And I said, Woe, woe to the shower door. I want to go back to before. When it rains it pours and pours. I want to shower nevermore. Woe, woe, woe, woe to the shower door. Yesterday I filled my tub with water from a pail As I recited John Keats’s poem, "Ode to a Nightingale." I decided to write an ode myself to live forevermore. And I thought I’d dedicate my ode to my childhood shower door. That complex shower door. So I wrote, Ode, ode to the shower door It’s like I never bathed before I want to bathe and shower more Ode, ode, ode, ode to the shower door! So the moral to this story is simple as can be: Enjoy your baths and showers while you’re young and they are free. And in your bathtub you can play and you might even see A shark who pops up from the drain and says, “Shampoo me!”
6.
Don't Fill Up On Chips 03:10
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"Don't Fill Up On Chips" by Randy Kaplan (chip eating sounds) Don’t fill up on chips. —Why, Ma? Why, Ma? ‘Cause if you fill up on chips You won’t eat your dinner. So read my lips: Don’t fill up on chips. —Why, Ma? Why, Ma? Salsa and guacamole, they ain’t dinner. They’re just dips. Don’t fill up on chips. There’s tacos on the way And they’re not free. We gotta pay. Or chimichangas or quesadillas. So don’t fill up on chips And just take a few sips Of your soda. —Ha ha ha ¿Por qué te ría? —I’m laughing for fun, Ma. It won’t hurt anyone, Ma. I think that those chips make you loco! —It’s because chips are salty that I sip, Ma. It’s not my fault, see? I think you’re just cuckoo! —Maybe un poco! Don’t fill up on chips. —Why, Ma? Why, Ma? ‘Cause if you fill up on chips— —You sound like a record, Ma, one that skips! Don’t fill up on chi— Don’t fill up on chi— Don't fill up on chi— Don’t fill up on chips! (chip eating sounds) Look, you've been very patient, okay? But let me reiterate: Chips are an appetizer. You ordered a whole dinner so just, please... Don't fill up on chips. —Why, Ma? Ugghhhh! Don’t do it, I say! Push that basket away. And wait for your smothered burrito. —Smothered with what, Ma? Cheese! —Yeah, uh, but, Ma, I’m allergic and cheese I can’t eat. Oh, darn! I forgot. —Here’s the food. Plate’s are hot. Uh, we’ll have to take it home. Para llevar. Can you wrap it for me? —With all those chips! No! —But they’re free! —Señorita, your kid is bizarre. Don’t fill up on chips. —Why, Ma? Why, Ma? ‘Cause if you fill up on chips You won’t eat your dinner. So read my lips: Don’t fill up on chips. —Why, Ma? Why, Ma? Guacamole and salsa verde, They ain’t dinner. They’re just dips. Don’t fill up on chips. —Why, Ma?
7.
Not Too Young for a Song (Dan Bern) 02:14
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"Not Too Young for a Song" by Dan Bern
8.
Nagasaki 02:02
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"Nagasaki" by Harry Warren and Mort Dixon
9.
Crew Cut 03:33
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"Crew Cut" by Randy Kaplan I had a crew cut but the crew bailed out. Thar it breaches, they began to shout. They were talkin' 'bout my white whale scalp. I had a crew cut but the crew bailed out. I had a Mohawk but the hawk flew the coop. Like you really need to know the scoop. Okay, I'll keep you in the know, in the game, in the loop. I had a Mohawk but the hawk flew the coop. I wish I had a mullet or a bowl cut or a bob. Even a pony tail, I'm no snob. Long dread locks and at the same time peyes. Yeah, I'd like to look like a Yiddish Jose Reyes. I wish a had an afro or a beehive or a buzz But all I got's a little bit of leftover fuzz. A hi-top fade or a mop-top's nice. At least there'd be a chance for me to catch some lice. —Yeah, I like lice. They're quite cute... If you don't look at them through a microscope, that is. Do you think lice have hair themselves? If they do, do they get mini-lice? I guess I miss my hair. I used to have really big hair, back in the good old 1980s. Can you imagine that? If I had that hair now I could do a lot of things with it. There'd be no stopping me. If I had corn rows it might be my fate To look like Allen Iverson did in aught-eight. I'd like to wear a pageboy or a perm or go mod Or have a crazy spiky Einstein look like Sweeney Todd. I could shave off the sides like Mo or Forrest Gump Or give myself a comb over like Donald Trump. How about an emo flap? Yeah, I'd take that chance. How did flappers do their do doin' that Charleston dance? My hair still does the tango 'cause it just takes two And if one falls out I'll do the Wilbury Twist with you. I had a pompadour but circumstance Made my hairdo do a different dance. Nature or nurture or perchance just chance? My pompadour was a victim of circumstance. I had a crew cut but the crew bailed out. Thar it breaches, they began to shout. The white whale? No, without a doubt They were talking bout my pate, my head, by burnt bald scalp. I had a crew cut but the crew bailed out.
10.
Slow Motion Mom 01:51
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"Slow Motion Mom" by Randy Kaplan She’s a snail, she’s a slug And she’s slower than a bug. We go walking but we might as well crawl. Shake your tail! What a mug! Look! She’s scrunching like a pug. She doesn't like to be hurried, that’s all. She’s a snail, she’s a slug And she’s slower than a bug. But she happens to be cute as one too. Yes, bugs can be cute. I know an ant, a real beaut. Don’t ever squash her or I’ll have to say knew. Oh, she’s slower than a turtle on the moon. Oh, she’s slower than a Mazzy Star tune. She's like a half deflated helium balloon. Instead of singing her this song I’ll have to croon: Oh, she’s slower than a turtle on the moon. She’s a snail, she’s a slug. She just needs a sparkplug. To my pleas to step it up she is immune. All hail this kid we lug In his Bugaboo and Uggs. We started walking him in April. Now it’s June. His mom is slower than a turtle on the moon.
11.
Slow Eater 03:50
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"Slow Eater" by Randy Kaplan When me and my mom go out for dinner I measure food in quantity and I'm always the winner. I’m a growing boy, ten years old! I think she under-orders. She says we’ll split a pizza And I know I’ll have three quarters. When me and my mom go out for dessert I'm always loosening my belt, I'm always untucking my shirt. I finish my frozen yogurt. My belly's a big balloon. I throw away my cup but I hold on to my spoon 'Cause she's a slow eater. She’s a slow eater. She’s a slow eater. Slow eater. It's almost 1 a.m. I’ve long since hit the sack. My hunger wakes me up. I say, “Mom! I want a snack! My stomach is growling!” But my mom says to me, “The refrigerator's empty. We just stocked it up this week!” My mom says to me, “It's not good for your health to finish all your food and then eat everybody else’s!” She tells me I could choke and that eating fast is rude. She says I should relax and stop inhaling all my food. She's just a slow eater. She’s a slow eater. She’s a slow eater. Slow eater. My mom says to me, “I've had my eye on you. I don't know how you do it. For example, you consumed A hundred carob-covered peanuts at the movies late last night. Then you took my oatmeal cookie and you ate it in one bite. You're as hungry as a beggin’ dog, waggin’ his tail. You’ll eat a loaf of raisin bread That's on the verge of going stale. You’ll eat a plate of chocolate chips Before they're in the batter. You can scarf a double waffle in a minute flat! The sandwiches I made were not for you alone, ya lummox. Yet before the picnic started they were all inside your stomach With that bag of baked tortilla chips From Gram and Granpa’s house. You deserve the cuts on the roof of your mouth! This morning you consumed a kinda continental breakfast With a giant glass of juice and a seven pancakes big as Texas. Then you ate that bag of Tootsie Pops I bought you for five dollars. The whole entire bag! Is it worth it to follow A fairly healthy meal with a junk food spree? You’re like a vacuum cleaner. You eat everything you see! And you chewed those Tootsie Pops! You know, they're only meant to lick! You’re gonna make yourself nauseous. Gonna make yourself sick! Are you ever satisfied? Will you ever get your fill? How can you enjoy a muffin taken as a pill?” My mom says, “Gluttony's a sin” as I lay groaning on the floor. "Mama, I don’t feel so well and I ain’t doin’ this no more... I'll even fast next Yom Kippur... I'll be a slow eater.”
12.
Everybody Farts 03:09
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"Everybody Farts" by Randy Kaplan Everybody farts. We're just playing our parts. It's music and it's art. —W-w-w-what? Everybody farts Invisible stink darts. They come straight from the heart. —You mean the butt? Farting in the bath Makes bubbles, makes us laugh. Bath and laugh don’t rhyme But I can cause them to sometimes. Like if I say bath like you, Like you did when you were two. You’d say, “You know what makes me laugh? Farting in the baff.” Everybody farts. We're just playing our parts. In music and the arts You gotta give a little push. Everybody farts Invisible stink darts. They come straight from the heart. —You mean the tush? Farting in Dad’s truck Cracks windows, cracks us up. Truck and up don’t rhyme But I can cause them to sometimes. Like if I say truck like you, Like you did when you were two. You'd say, "You know what cracks me up? Farting in Dad's trup." Everybody farts. We're just playing our parts. It's music and it's art. —Randy, you're a nut! Everybody farts Invisible stink darts. They come straight from the heart. —Aww, c'mon! Okay, I mean the butt.
13.
Follow Your Nose 01:22
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"Follow Your Nose" by Randy Kaplan I think someone made a doody Someone made a doody Someone made a doody I think someone made a doody —Who? Follow your nose! Did my daddy make a doody? Daddy make a doody? Daddy make a d-d-doody? Did my daddy make a doody? —No! Follow your nose! Maybe Mommy made a doody Mommy made a doody Mommy made a doody Maybe Mommy made a doody —No! Follow your nose! Did my doggy make a doody? Doggy make a doody? Doggy make a d-d-doody? Did my doggy make a doody? —No! Follow your nose! —Maybe Randy made a doody! —No! —Follow your nose! Maybe baby made a doody Baby made a doody Baby made a doody Maybe baby made a doody —Yes! I followed my nose!
14.
So Funny I Forgot to Laugh 02:54
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"So Funny I Forgot to Laugh" by Randy Kaplan So funny I forgot to laugh at the joke made by my better half. So funny I forgot to go like this: Ha Ha Ha. So funny I forgot to say That my better half slept half the day Away today and I forgot to blow her a kiss: Mwa Mwa Mwa. She sent me to the store with a grocery list But she wanted more so she sent me a text Sayin': raspberry, blueberry, strawberry, blackberry. And please make sure that they're not very old. Like I told ya, check the expiration date. And take 'em from the back of the shelf 'cause the bait Is the food in the front that's about to go bad. It's the worst of its kind. So don't be had! Oh, and whole grain bread, not multi-grain! I said, "Babe, your list's well nigh insane. Stop writing me a tome in a text. I'll be home In a minute and a half and I'll make you laugh." So funny I forgot to chuckle At my butter cup muffin, at my honeysuckle rose 'Cause she knows I don't always seem amused. Ha Ha Ha. So funny I forgot to bust A gut or roll in the aisle like a nut. When I'm sent to the supermarket I get confused. Ahh! Ahh! Ahh! Speaking of nuts, she sent me back to the store With a brand new text 'cause she still wanted more, Sayin: almonds, walnuts, and cashews, Pistachios, pines, macadamias too. And grab me jar of that jingleberry jam And a can of the cranberries next to the Spam. Desitin, diapers, and frozen french toast And the Tropicana OJ I like most is No Pulp Calcium with Vitamin D And Horizon Whole Milk with Omega 3. I said, "Baby, it's crazy, my cart's overflowing. I'll be home in a spell. Well, I best get going. Let's go, gang! So funny I forgot to bust A gut or a move or the bank. I trust In you. I do and I want to go like this: Ha Ha Ha. So funny I forgot to split My sides with a snicker so they'd have to knit Me back together. Hey, I better blow a kiss: Mwa Mwa Mwa. So I'm sent to the supermarket again And I gotta get calm and I gotta be Zen But I'm standing in line and I gotta get off, Says my better half or my third or my fourth In another, yes, another, yes another text! So I scramble and I scrabble for what she wants next: Some eggs to scramble, some stuff for the scrapple, A squeezie and a McIntosh organic apple. So I call her for a chuckle and we even guffaw But still she insists, "We should laugh more!" I say, "Honey, that's silly, now don't be daft. I'll be home in a bit and we'll sit and we'll laugh. So funny I forgot to laugh. So funny I forgot to laugh. So funny I forgot to laugh. So funny— —I forgot the baby wipes! And I got the wrong kind of butter...unsalted. And what does this say? Garbage bags? She forgot the "b." I thought it said garage bags. I didn't know what they were. Sardines? Who'd want them anyway? At least I got malted milk balls. And they weren't even on the list!
15.
Time to Dream 02:15
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"Time to Dream" by Randy Kaplan The sun is down, The moon is high, We’ve had a full day, you and I. And now it’s time to dream. The sky is dark, The air is still, Today we had our fun and fill. And now it’s time to dream. You may dream of things you’ve seen today and yesterday. Or maybe of tomorrows that are very far away. Of who you’ll be, of where you’ll go, of what you’re gonna do. Goodnight, my love. I’m by your side. My eyes are closing too. The stars are out, The moon is low, We’ve had a full day. Don't you know That now it’s time, Oh, now it’s time, Yes, now it’s time to dream
16.
Goodnight, My Someone (from The Music Man) 02:02
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"Goodnight, My Someone" (from The Music Man) by Meredith Willson

about

Randy's 5th not-JUST-for-kids CD earned him his third NAPPA Gold Award and yielded 5 Sirius-XM Kids Place Live hits!

Randy released Jam on Rye when his son was two years old. All the songs had to pass muster with him first. The influence of said toddler, this one-boy vetting committee, definitely affected Randy's songwriting. Hear it for yourself in numbers such as "Burpity Burp Burp Burp," "Follow Your Nose," and "Everybody Farts." Is scatological humor beyond the pale? Well, Shakespeare, Chaucer, and Dante didn't think so! Randy joins their ranks on his fifth not-JUST-for-kids CD with these scatological songs. Hey, The Arabian Nights even has its share of fart jokes...and get a load of the fourth movement of Beethoven's 2nd Symphony. Talk about orchestrated flatulence! JAM ON RYE (2014) also includes a calypso ode (to a shower door), a cover of Dan Bern's "Not Too Young For a Song," a few trademark Kaplan fast-talking rap-bluegrass barnburners, a song about being bald (and all the haircuts Randy can only dream of having), a lullaby, and a song from The Music Man sung by Randy's wife, Julie May! In the eponymous number, Randy explains his propensity to substitute rhyming ingredients when ordering at restaurants, much to the chagrin and consternation of martinet chefs everywhere.

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REVIEWS of Jam on Rye:

"Randy Kaplan’s Jam On Rye is an explosion of wacky, sometimes poignant, absolutely delightful songs that leave us gasping, "Did he just say that?!" Yes, he did. And these 16 winning songs are all put together with outstanding vocals and production that draw us right into the heart of each adventure. Some songs are kinda like plays, with rapid-fire, perfectly articulated lyrics that are so engagingly off-the-wall you look at your friends in disbelief and say, "This dude is crazy in the most wonderful way!" No subject is off limits. Not a shower door. Not a hockey puck. Most assuredly not bodily emissions. It’s so real, so vivid, so melodic and zany and surprising and, well, dare I say it, so genius. There’s nothing else like this 46-minute excursion into a world you and your kids will want to visit over and over. It will go down in history as one of the best CDs for kids and families ever."
—Dave Kinnoin /SongWizard

"How has parenthood changed Randy Kaplan? For starters, there's an increased emphasis on all things olfactory. Of the 16 tracks on JAM ON RYE, three deal directly with bodily functions ("Burpity Burp Burp Burp," "Everybody Farts," and "Follow Your Nose")...(But) Randy's milieu is the story song and he tells a bunch of amusing new stories on this collection...(all) filtered through his daddy lenses...There will always be a place in children's music for original thinkers and Randy is remarkably consistent and pleasingly off-center with his compositions. He sympathizes with the younger set and frequently takes their side in his songs, while casting a winking eye to their parents."
—Mr. Jeff 2000

"Though we’re already applying sunscreen, my hockey-loving husband reminds me that there’s still plenty of ice time to watch as the Stanley Cup playoffs continue this week. And whether you’re a fan of Kings or the Rangers (or the Bruins who, sadly, are not in the finals says this New England mama), we’ve got a cool tune from kindie favorite Randy Kaplan that will get you pumped up for these last few days in the hockey season. From his latest release Jam On Rye, 'Hockey Puck' is a fast-talking song with a galloping country beat. Randy humorously runs through every ball he can think of before asking, 'Hockey puck?' and then going over all the major points in hockey: hat tricks, slapshots, missing teeth, and the most exciting thing of all: The Zamboni. It’s not exactly going to make the game any easier for kids to follow, but it sure is fun to try to keep up with him. Plus, there’s a Don Rickles reference. That one’s just for us grownups."
—Cool Mom Tech

"Randy Kaplan certainly does know how to have fun and he knows exactly the kind of fun that kids like to have! He also knows how to make children’s music that the whole family can enjoy, even the adults. Jam on Rye features a variety of musical styles from this multi-talented artist. In addition to the bluegrass that he is known for, you’ll also hear calypso, blues and lullabies. The lyrics are humorous and easy to understand. The subject matter of the songs and his sense of humor are age appropriate for elementary school age kids who will giggle and they sing along. The CD is lots of fun and I think he would be even more fun to see live in concert!"
—Sweeps 4 Bloggers

"Randy Kaplan has once again created an album full of hits...the variety of musical genres and subjects on this album are amazing and fun...There are lots of different sounds, sound effects, and vocals (including kids), which adds lots of great touches to some already fun music. Randy sings about things that nearly everyone can relate to, and the music is perfect for singing along...I know that my kids loved it and therefore it will be added to the CDs we listen to while we are in the car. (That is high praise in our house!). JAM ON RYE is perfect for those long road trips."
—A Nation of Moms

"Randy Kaplan plays music for kids. But it’s not your typical "Itsy Bitsy Spider" fare. Throughout his 30-year career, Kaplan has enthralled, entertained and educated the younger set with his own songs as well as renditions of blues and country. With his great love of country, blues, ragtime, folk and Broadway show tunes, Randy Kaplan has successfully taken these genres and made them kid friendly. Originally an actor, Kaplan enjoyed some success in sitcoms and theater productions until playing music became his prime interest. He found his niche playing for the younger set quite by accident, and hasn’t looked back since."
—Digital Journal

"He talks, tells stories, cracks jokes, and borrows old songs to make them his own: this is the patented Randy Kaplan formula, and with every record his approach to making “not just for kids” music becomes more cohesive. No one else in the kid’s music game is as comfortable or capable of pivoting quickly from references to Sigmund Freud to songs about farting and then over to a talking Queen Bee and a hungry domesticated monkey. Kaplan’s latest, JAM ON RYE, is filled with quirky character voices, puns, laughs, witty smarts, expert jazz/rag/folk musicianship and terrific songs you’ll happily let bounce around your noggin all day long. Check out the sports hilarity of “Hockey Puck” which includes a sweet shout out to my beloved Detroit Red Wings and “Nagasaki,” a song showcasing Kaplan’s worldly self and his storytelling prowess that continues to delight kids of all ages."
—Cooper & Kid

"Without a doubt, Randy Kaplan is a raconteur, good at telling stories. He tells them through song rather than spoken word or on paper, but his characters and offbeat humor sometimes bordering on the absurd might remind you (in a very kid-friendly way) of, say, David Sedaris...From a memorable shower door ("Ode to a Shower Door," which features a guest appearance from a past Kaplan character), to parental frustrations with a visit to a Mexican restaurant ("Don't Fill Up on Chips"), the new songs let Kaplan play with voices and characters to good effect. One of my favorite tracks here is "Crew Cut," which wistfully recounts a series of different hairstyles. His songs range from scatological humor ("Burpity Burp Burp Burp") to tender ("Not Too Young for a Song") to tender scatological humor ("Everybody Farts") -- you can tell that Kaplan's new status as a parent has given him a brand new well of material to work with...You'll laugh, you'll cry -- OK, your kids won't cry, but you'll at least take a minute to appreciate the whirlwind of parenting. Definitely recommended."
—Zooglobble

"I'll vouch for this. Randy Kaplan is a wizard with words, and no slouch with a tune either. Yeah, you could say his songs are for kids. You could say Lewis Carroll is for kids. You could say Maurice Sendak is for kids. You could say Dr. Seuss or The Wizard of Oz or The Hobbit are just for kids. But like all those guys/creations, Randy's got wit, he's got verbal dexterity, he's inventive, clever, imaginative. He never talks or sings down to his audience. I flat out love his new CD JAM ON RYE. I listened to it over and over in my car for days. And I don't even have kids!"
—Jeff Rogers

credits

released June 1, 2014

JAM ON RYE Produced, Recorded, Mixed, and Mastered by Mike West at 9th Ward Pickin' Parlor in Lawrence, Kansas except Julie May's vocals on "Goodnight, My Someone" recorded by David Tobocman at Elsewhere in Culver City, California and Ry's interjections recorded by RK at The Floating Desk in LA, CA.

Music Men, Women, and Children:
Randy Kaplan: Acoustic Guitar, Vocals, Harmonica, Backup Vocals
Mike West: Electric Guitar, Banjo, Mandolin, Banjola, Backup Vocals
Katie West: Upright Bass, Backup Vocals on "Don't Fill Up On Chips"
Colin Mahoney: Drums, Percussion
Bradford Hoopes: Piano, Hammond Organ, Electric Accordion on "Don't Fill Up On Chips"
Tom Johnson: Trombone
Julian West: Trombone Blasts on "Burpity Burp Burp Burp" and Chorister
Julie May: Vocals on "Goodnight, My Someone"
Jenna Pellow: Backup Vocals on "Don't Fill Up On Chips"
Other Choristers: Ry Kaplan, Sadie Capps, Vega West, Esther West, Arthur Mahoney, Elliot Mahoney, Ben Hoopes, Annelise Hoopes, Addie Unekis, Joie Pellow

Shampoozle appears courtesy of Julia Foley Inc. and the Brooklyn Sewer System

"Everybody Farts" inspired by a Griffin Biesk fart and an Emma Biesk giggle

Creative Consultant: Scott Bernstein
Graphic & Art Design: Jennifer Templet
Anarchivist: Scotch Burnside
Photography: Brian Schey and RK and Ilissa Shimony Levine
Drawings: RK

all songs written by Randy Kaplan
Published by TREELEIGH MUSIC except:

"Burpity Burp Burp Burp" by Randy Kaplan and Julie May
Published by TREELEIGH MUSIC and JUBMAY MUSIC

"Not Too Young For a Song" by Dan Bern
Published by KABABA MUSIC

"Nagasaki" by Harry Warren and Mort Dixon
Published by BUGHOUSE MUSIC OBO OLDE CLOVER LEAF MUSIC and FOUR JAYS MUSIC PUB

"Goodnight, My Someone" by Meredith Willson
Published by FRANK-MEREDITH WILLSON MUSIC

Thanks to my wife, Julie May Kaplan; my son, Ryland Steven Kaplan; Judith and Marvin Milich; Scott Bernstein; The Greenbergs, Schatzbergs, Mays, and Kleins; Lori, Andi, Emma, and the gang at Jonas PR; Matt Siden at Nugget Island; Erik Hyman at Loeb & Loeb; Rebecca Alison at Little Cloud Mangement; KC Mancebo at Clamorhouse Kids; Mindy Thomas, Kenny Curtis, and Jack Forman at SiriusXM Radio’s Kids Place Live (ch. 78); Robbie Schaefer; Richard Ellis and Rick Dobbis at myKaZoo Music; Beth Blenz-Clucas at Sugar Mountain PR; Susan at Park Slope Parents; Linda at Peachhead Families; Jen at Jen's List; Gabriel, Liv, and Ingrid Leigh; Joe Rumi; Truckstop Honeymoon; Virginia Halfwolf; Thunder Bags; Dinah's Garden Hotel in Palo Alto, CA; Dan Bern; Brian Schey; Lisa Miller; Anne, James, and Jack at Play in LA; Benji Corburn; Stefan Shepherd at Zooglobble; Bill Childs at Spare the Rock, Spoil the Child; Jeff Bogle at Out With the Kids; Peter Hastings (retroactively, for his help on Mr. Diddie Wah Diddie); Herman Melville; my would-be crowd funders; and FORKs everywhere (my very supportive Family, Friends, and Fans).

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Randy Kaplan Detroit, Michigan

ADULTS: Nashville Blues & Roots Alliance calls Randy “a master of old-time, Delta-influenced guitar,” and the Smoky Mountain Blues Society says he’s “an absolute ace guitarist, picker, and ragtime player.”

KIDS: Randy's blend of American Roots Music and Comedic Storytelling has inspired the likes of NPR and PEOPLE magazine to name Randy one of the nation’s top family entertainers. ... more

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